I found out I was pregnant at 9weeks+5. That's two months already into my pregnancy. How did I not know?!
I went on holiday with my family at the start of pregnancy, I had a bleed which I assumed was a period. I didn't really take notice how long my 'period' was because I was on holiday with my family. So I assumed I had a period and carried on with my holiday without thinking about it.
While on holiday I was tired but I assumed that was from the late nights and the early mornings. Some days I just wanted to chill out but no chance- we had lots of days out and had a lovely time. While we were on holiday my sisters told me they thought I was pregnant, I didn't feel pregnant and I assumed I had a period so I thought they were just saying I was fat. We carried on as normal, drinking, dancing and having a good time. Alcohol made an appearance while on holiday and lots of rubbish food. Some days I felt ill but I assumed it was all the rubbish food and alcohol I had been having, mixed with the tiredness.
After not seeing my boyfriend for 2weeks, I went round as soon as we got back. One of the first things he said to me was you look pregnant- are you sure your not. I had a dress on that did make me look like I had a tummy so I assumed he was calling me fat, I laughed it off and ignored it and told him I needed to get to the gym.
After having 3people say they think I'm pregnant, it was playing on my mind, it was all I thought about for a couple of weeks.
Am I ready for a baby??!?
I waited for my next period but it didnt come when it normally does. I do have irregular periods so I waited a week or so but still no period. I had enough of constantly thinking about if I was so I bought a pregnancy test and did it and I was pregnant!!
When I found out, a flood of guilt came over me about the lifestyle I had of late. I had drank alcohol every day for 2weeks, my boyfriend smokes and I would sit in the room while he had a fag and breathe it in not knowing. I ate runny eggs and had mayo. I couldn't stop thinking about my little jelly bean just swimming and sleeping in my womb, not knowing what was going on.
I must admit that when I saw the two lines on the test I was in shock, I didn't know what to do. I had millions of questions in my head that I didn't know the answer to, I was so scared. I cried. ALOT. I went to doctors and just cried, I had no idea what to do. I had a student doctor- a young lad- he didn't have a clue what to say and so he booked me in at the hospital for an appointment. It was the ward where the pregnancy termination happens, I felt sick sat there watching all the young girls coming in laughing and joking around. It made me angry. I knew I didn't want to terminate my pregnancy- I spoke to the health professional there and talked through the questions in my head. She also gave me a scan, that was the most amazing thing ever- my baby looked like a jelly bean with little fingers and toes. I came out of the hospital happy that I was having a baby!!
To me- that was the start of my pregnancy!
From then on I took my folic acid- I only took it for 3weeks or so which made me angry at myself- folic acid is taken to help reduce spina bifida and I felt like I had put my baby at risk. We went for our12 week scan and he was perfect. I felt a huge sense of relief he looked happy enough in there.
I took vitamin D, drank milk and made sure I ate foods that would help my little jelly bean grow big and strong. My boyfriend would go out my way if he wanted a fag and my boyfriends family would do the same. I am grateful for that as it's there house but they still did it for me and respected how I felt about it.
I think if you don't find out until later on in the pregnancy you always feel guilty about how you lived your life- I had no tell tale signs so I just carried on as normal as I'm sure many other ladies feel the same as I did.