Thursday 25 September 2014

PND UPDATE

On my last post about 5months ago I had been diagnosed with PND. It was a horrible time for me, Alfie and my whole family as I hit rock bottom but you'll be pleased to know. I'm finally feeling back to the old me. 


I was in a very dark place, I didn't want to do anything, I would sit on my bed just shaking, and I was scared of myself. It really was awful, but it wasn't me. Depression is an awful illness, you literally can't control what your thinking and however hard you to try to block things from your head and think positive, something inside you keeps telling you to think about the horrible things. I wanted to run away from it all, I thought Alfie would be better off without me and I felt like a rubbish mum for even getting this in the first place. 


Thinking back to it now, I'm so proud of myself for getting through it. I can be quite a sensitive person but I managed to stand up against this illness and come
out the other side. I am so proud of my son Alfie, he wasn't even one when I got diagnosed but he was so good and loving towards me. He would give me cuddles and kisses and come and rest his head on my knee. He was good as gold and in a way he saved my life. 


It's so amazing when you start to feel you again, it makes you appreciate what you have even more than before. Especially because of Alfie, it's been even more amazing. I adore being a mummy to my clever little man and actually love doing mummy things now. I take Alfie out a lot, we go on days with other mummies and babies and I've met some lovely people that I know will be friends for life. 


I have so much more patience with Alfie now and I love seeing him grow into a cheeky little monkey. He's so well behaved and he is a credit to me. Everyone says what a lovely little boy he is, he smiles and waves to everybody. He's so friendly and sociable. 


Now I feel more happy in my self I want to get out the house, even an hour walk makes me feel better. It's exercise for me and Alfie loves searching for pinecones and conkers at the moment. I love autumn and I'm looking forward to everything to come. 



It's so easy to feel like giving up when your down but don't. Be strong and stand up. 






11 comments:

  1. Oh I'm so pleased to hear this Emma. You should be proud of yourself, you are one tough cookie x

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  2. Great to hear Emma :) Alfie is a gorgeous little boy and I've no doubt you two make a great team! I find a walk in the fresh air does the power of good for us somedays xo

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  3. I'm so happy to hear you're feeling more like yourself. Thanks for linking up to the #binkylinky

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  4. Yay! So pleased to read this Emma. You've always been an amazing mummy to Alfie, you just didn't know it for a little while x

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  5. I'm so glad you are feeling better. I was seriously ill with pnd so know what a battle it can be x #binkylinky

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  6. I'm really happy to read this. PND is truly awful. I suffered it in the early months with Potato and really hated the person I'd become. Well done you for fighting your way out of it and well done to Alfie for being so special.
    Thank you for linking up with #BinkyLinky

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  7. PND is a horrible illness, and a particularly cruel one for taking away your enjoyment of what should be a happy time. It is great that you are getting through it.

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  8. What l lovely honest account, the important thing is you got help. So glad to hear life hot better for you.

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  9. Glad to hear you are feeling alot better, depression is so hard and often not taken seriously. Well done and keep on fighting. Thanks for sharing with #sundayroundup

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  10. This is great, I have a similar post in progress - recovering from PND is so hard, and it's so nice to be able to enjoy our own children again x

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  11. so glad to hear you've got through it, you should be proud of yourself! thanks for linking up #sundaystars xx

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